Mindng my business and I was given a ticket

I hate planes.  And no, I'm not claustrophobic.  I can live in a closet and still go about my business. I've heard people say that they know it only goes one way, no Air force 1 bullshit. That is what I hate the most about planes. I fear my body will never be found if it crashes. So for every travel I've had to make I take the bus. I know some are saying what's the difference? Well, imagine maintaining a size, doing exercises to lose the fat that stubbornly refuses to disappear, and then to top it all, not having people cry over my body. Over my dead my. Uh-uh. No thank you.



 But then, if things went according to how we wanted, I'd be married to Channing Tatum, richer than Warren Buffet and I'd be president. Unfortunately, I'm still a saleswoman.
I was meant to travel to Warri for a friend's wedding and I had asked to have a day off so I could take my bus jejeli. I already bought a book that would accompany me on the 6hr trip. I was looking forward to it, but work decided to sell me out for a plane ticket. I was like NAWL.YOU JUDAS. I hate lifting heavy object, how would I carry my own cross. I looked up to see if God could rescue me. I wanted the cup to pass me by, guess I wasn't very lucky.
The night before I left, I went on YouTube,  checked safety measures, took a crash course on how to survive in the red sea, and every coloured sea.I even saw the movie "life if Pi" just in case someone was crazy enough to bring a pet that size.
Turns out it was not as bad as my imagination thought. Even though the attendant spoke in a funny type of way. Qualifying it as an accent would be insulting all accents. On behalf of you guys, I sentenced her to an accent-free life. Oh, I forgot to mention that I was given a business class ticket. Lucky me you say. For domestic flight in Nigeria, you are just an economiser, only your own economy is higher. I mean to say, you sit in front and a tiny curtain is drawn to block out the rest. Mstchewww till my lungs fail. What, and your charge me (my boss) that much to sit in a chair with no room for my elbow(the guy next to me took possession of the hand rest), and the plate of rice I could count. COMMON. I was like WHAT! STOP IT! THIS IS A BAD DREAM.
The only respite was that I got to my destination in an hour and the view was priceless. Maybe that was why they charge that much. I'd put it under VAS. All in all, I don't know if I'll be attempting another trip. I'm glad that I made it in one piece and speaking of clothing, I wore something cheap just in case, you know that thing I said earlier happened.