The occultic world of creatives

The creative world is a hub, some might refer to it as a cult; though I had no initiation when I got in. you’d have to drink from the cup of the elders or pray fervently to the gods to look your way and bless you with the Midas brain. Or better yet, you’d lock yourself in a dark lit room, drink stale coffee while reading quotes from Ogilvy/ Bernbach and wonder how you can unearth their bodies and mix a concoctions from their remains so you can get the looks of one and the brains of the other. Turning pages of thick set books and memorizing best practices used then to sell "vacuum cleaner" (which we don’t have here in this part of the world or use). You come out from your sabbatical and proclaim you are the messiah of advertising. You have been given the scroll on the mountain of creativity and you are voltron that is ready to unleash the commandments to the world…Go and flourish; a command whispered in that dark hour by the wise crack that you alone saw and spoke to (probably your evil self).

How you think it is

You get a brief from a client that is looking to sell the next best thing since Google revolutionised the internet. You raid the chest fridge the agency provided for someone else’s drink, munching guru and groundnut and hoping that the next hit of idea will be the champ. The cleaning guy is fed up of cleaning up after you as he has to come by every ten minutes to empty the bin. Then you get blown away by the next best idea that will win your agency the Cannes award and earn you the bragging rights of "sole creator" that you literally have to hold tightly to your seat else you find yourself in another planet from the sheer force of its arrival . You have your acceptance speech typed and memorized, you have practiced your camera selfie in front of your mirror and you have checked Jumia and Konga for the apparel for the award. You have even gone way  ahead of the client by publishing it on adsoftheworld.

How it really is

Client /accounts personnel forward in an account he/she just bagged with a company run by D@#$ heads and traffic assigns you as the copywriter to the project ( oh boy, which soap you use baff). You get an epic shit idea but when you present to the client, you get the following reverts

·         Name of the CEO, COO,CFO, Chairman as contact info,

·         The colour of the office building (so no one will walk into another building),

·         Logo as big as the size of Olumo rock and it must take centre position

·         Cram all other info around the logo. I want people to see the logo. Period

NO!!!! There goes your Cannes award! Not to worry, you still have the ones you published without the client consent, okay…let’s go visit and see how many ratings it got, maybe that will be the balm to your bruised ego. You are sure, the critics will eat out of the palm of your hands, they will sing nothing but praise and you can tell the client “Go eat shit, shithead”

Enter the famous critic

Kleenex, Damnson, Morse et al; the samurai’s of adsoftheworld.  These mean sons of a sword use the letters on their keyboard like swords to cut off limbs. You read and you see words like “dumb set of ads” “you should resign”, “weak”, “next” or the killing blow, same pattern but a better execution of your idea. Yea. I know, you just want the ground to open up cos this wasn’t how you envisaged events will turn out to be. Hey! Life is hard, pick a number and get in line.

My advice

I haven’t seen all there is to this damning world, but then I can give you sound advice. Be crticproof. Take your daily dose of self-worth, don’t stop trying, at least the Laif awards lined at the reception of your agency should keep your sanity for now. You will Win Cannes when you learn to let go of your “I’m Spartan” ego